Moving On

We’re sending you home. Head scan is clear. You can have your finger looked at in the doctor’s office. Here’s a shot of dilaudid. Check up with your doctor tomorrow.

The following few days were a blur. I went home for about 12 hours. The next morning I started repeating words. I didn’t know where I was. I had trouble understanding what people were saying. To top it all off, my psycho mother made things ten times worse. She told the hospital I was on drugs and my husband abused me. That’s why I looked the way I did and why I was so out of it.

After I kicked her out, my husband came to the hospital. He had to work. He had no idea what happened because she never called him. I’m not sure what happened during those 3 days. I thought I was staying for observation for 24 hours. Then it turned into 3 days. I had neurologists peak at me. Oral-facial doc came in and looked at my eye. Ortho came in and inspected my finger.

I had a serious concussion and a broken finger. I had a hairline fracture on my eye socket. I was bruised. My chest felt like a horse kicked me. Emotionally,  I was a wreck. I bounced between being thankful I was alive to wishing I had died.

May 1 I went down to surgery to fix my finger. It’s scary going into surgery. I will never forget the PACU nurse who took care of me before surgery. She listened to me. She said I would be okay. She told me it is understandable that I cried at a drop of a hat. I really needed that at the time. When I had my daughter, I refused a C-section because I was scared of surgery. That nurse made me comfortable enough to trust the doctors wouldn’t kill me.

My entire life flipped upside down April 28th. I lost so much that day. All I have done since then is try to find my footing. I feel like I’m still upside down in my car. I don’t know what’s happening. I hope I find a new normal. I’m still floating.


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